My Healthy Fear
When I sold my very first case of cookies to a local store, I was so excited that my mind pretty much went blank for a moment. I remember this feeling of relief and even euphoria come over me. I called my mom and told her, "someone bought the cookies and they actually want to sell it to their customers!". Right about then, I realized something. They actually want to sell it to their customers!
What if they didn't love it? What if the packages didn't hold up well when we sent it to them (admittedly one of my less rational concerns since this ONE case of cookies was delivered by hand via the leather seats of our Chevy Volt ... we even buckled them in the seatbelt ... seriously!)? I was completely freaked out.
I jumped in the car and went over to where they were selling it, and I bought a package. Then another. I think I bought back about half of the very first case I sold. These were the days before my picture was on every single tube and display box, so it was easier for me to sneak in and buy my own stuff :-)
Fortunately, the cookies were in perfect condition and tasted great. However, the fear didn't subside. I wanted everyone, who anywhere, at any time, bought my cookies to feel as though it was the only package of cookies I had ever made and I made it just for them. I wanted it to be perfect.
Now at any given moment, with tens of thousands of tubes out on store shelves across the country, my fear has become exponentially greater. But I consider it my healthy fear. And even though I still order every ingredient myself, watch over the baking and packing process myself, I don't seem to ever lose that feeling I had with that very first case. What I did back then, has since become a ritual that I maintain to this day. I still go out every week and buy some of my own cookies, and immediately open them when I get in the car ... just to make sure.